Finding Your Personal Radical Candor Phrases
Before giving feedback - I always put myself in Radical Candor by asking, “why do I care about this person? What is my feedback, in one sentence?” If Radical Candor isn’t familiar to you, you should definitely pick up the book Radical Candor: How to be a Kick Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity! Or at least listen to the podcast (some of my favorite episodes below).
Here's the framework:
Once you are familiar with Radical Candor, it’s helpful to have your own personal bank of phrases. Here are mine - feel free to steal what you like!
Example Radical Candor Phrases
Here’s my favorite caring technique… “[pause] Tell me." It’s like magic if you have a strong rapport with someone. I’ve found that when I sense something isn’t right, I can use this phrase and the whole problem or situation comes tumbling out. I don’t risk making assumptions or trying to guess.
Giving space is also a form of caring - too often it feels like we have to plow through difficult conversations, but if you or your colleague is overwhelmed, you likely won't get the outcomes you want.
You'll note in the Challenging Directly column, I don't shy away from using pretty heavy words, like “disappointed” or “frustrated” when they are accurate. If I’m having an emotion, I find it helpful to name it. However, I’m very careful to name something about the work and NEVER about the person - for example, “I’m disappointed that the document does not yet lay out our plan, because it means we’re going to risk missing deadlines soon.” I shift from this direct language to coaching, “so let’s talk about what we need to do differently to get back on track.”
Which phrase would you like to add to your Caring Personally and Challenging Directly phrase bank?
Bonus: here are some of my favorite Radical Candor podcast episodes
